Today

This was not a typical day. In fact, I'm not sure I have ever been so stressed out in one day. I know, I know..give all your worries to God. Well I did. I had to do that a number of times. Here is why:

I was so excited about this day. Things are moving full speed ahead with browns mill church. I have stepped into the leadership role heading up the children's ministry. I have so many things to say about that but that will be for another post. All I can talk about is today. So today was going to be the first staff meeting. I was really looking forward to it. I had a babysitter lined up and I was on my way to drop Jake off and head to the meeting. Here is where it gets fun. I am going to just tell bits and pieces, otherwise this post will be too long.

• I get pulled over for not coming to a COMPLETE stop at the stop sign about a mile away from my house. I admit it's true. The officer said he watched the 3 people in front of me do the same thing so he decided to pull me over. (In my defense, I didn't run the stop sign..I did the stop and slowly roll.) But I deserved the ticket that I have yet to find out how much it is for.

• He takes my license and goes back to his patrol car. I'm waiting and waiting...with Jake screaming his head off for this or that. He finally comes back and tells me that my license has been canceled since 2007!!! I promised him that I didn't know. It was a misunderstanding about my social security number still being linked to my maiden name. I thought I had sent the form in a long time ago. But then thought that since I have been in constant, steady transition from moving..jobs..children, etc..that it may have fallen through the cracks. The problem is that I had gotten my Georgia license in 2007 and they didn't even mention to get this taken care of! You would think they would at least warn me that my license was going to be canceled.

• He asks me if someone can come drive me home. I call Tim. At this point I have lost it. I'm waiting for Tim for about 20 min. and him and Kevin pull up. Tim drives me home and Kevin drives Tim's car.

• As you have figured out, staff meeting is canceled and now the rest of the morning is filled with phone calls trying to figure out how to get this mess straightened out today. Was on hold with social security for 20 minutes while Jake is screaming. The dog is peeing and pooping in the house.

• After an hour of phone calls and gathering information Tim calls and says he got some tickets for him and Kevin to go to a church planting conference and they will need to leave tonight. So....he said we will go pick up the kids from school early, go to the social security office and then to the DMV to get my new license.

• More frustrated than ever, I burn what felt like several layers of skin off my finger while hurrying to make pasta for lunch. Jake falls down and cries needing to be held for 10 minutes.

• We get to their school and they couldn't find Summer's class. They had decided to take an extra recess so it took them an extra 20 minutes just to locate them.

• Finally we are off. We get to the ss office and the room of people is overflowing. I wait and wait while Tim is in the van with the kids. Spanish spoken all around me for an hour.

• A teenage girl sitting in front of me breaks out into seizures. Paramedics arrive shortly. She ends up being fine but they took her to the hospital.

• FINALLY! My number is called. After seeing my information the lady tells me that my marriage license will not be sufficient because it is a copy and not the original. She then tells me that I need to also have the certified marriage license application mailed to me as well. Gee...would have helped if the lady on the phone had told me this when I asked!!!

• Back home all for nothing.

• We call the Ohio probate court to find out that in order to get this information, we need to write a letter requesting this and also send a $3 check with a self addressed stamped envelope.

• We do this as fast as we can before the mail gets here. We didn't make it in time. Tim takes it to mail it out somewhere else.

• Emotions are flying, kids are fighting...and hungry. I have a missing vital ingredient for dinner. Ended up calling Pizza Hut.

• I am now stuck without a drivers license for who knows how long. The kind policeman said if I drive I will go to jail. I have to get back the marriage license application, find our original marriage license, go back to social security and get my new card and then go get my driver's license. It hasn't all really sunk in yet.
  

I left out some other stuff but that was my day! I knew I had to write this one down. I know I will look back on this down the road and laugh but it may take a while! I mean, nothing flowed. And every time I turned around it was a catastrophe! My eyes have no tears left. And how strange is it going to be to not drive?? I will be stuck in the house! I just can't believe all this! Maybe this is what everyone talks about when you have opposition?? Lord help me!

I am Naive!!

I am naive. Almost every reaction I have gotten from people whether it be close friends or acquaintances is “Are you ready to be a pastor's wife? I could never....”. I find this interesting. Women say that they just wouldn't be able to live up to the standards, hear people ridicule their husband, the time commitment, energy it would take, have their kids under the scope, etc. Well, here is my reaction to that.

I didn't dream of being a pastor's wife as a child. I am new at this. We are at the very beginning of a lifetime of being church planters. So again, I will repeat that I am just naive. I'm sure I will speak with greater wisdom down the road a bit but here is what I see now. I have heard about the challenges and we have even started to feel some of them. We expect to experience some hard times the same as anyone else. Being mission minded is living a life out of your comfort zone. I am having to make some difficult changes in this area. I know I tend to look at the glass half full but why does everyone make the assumption that life is going to be so hard? I know it won't be easy to be in this role but I am encouraged by knowing that Jesus is with me. It seems so elementary to say that but it's true!

To pursue Jesus means we will sometimes be uncomfortable. Life is messy because people are in it. If you care about following Jesus then that means you get involved with people's lives that are messy. I realize that as a pastor's wife my hands are going to get dirty. But it shouldn't be any different for you. I am doing the same thing as you should be...getting involved with people. How else are people going to know who Jesus is?

As far as standards go, I am going to do the best I can but not because anyone is watching but because it is a conviction of mine to live like Jesus. I have an out of control 3 year old. My 5 year old son comes home from school with a report of a sad face for talking too much or for pushing someone in P.E. I get mad at my husband for not paying enough attention to me. I am often times lonely. I will not read my Bible because I don't feel like it. I am often frustrated at our financial situation. My dirty laundry list could go on and on. Does any of this sound familiar?

I am just like anyone else. So if you are going to be a part of browns mill church you may be disappointed that this is not the pastor's wife you envisioned. But the truth is, this is pretty much how all pastor's wives are, people just have a big misconception. I don't mean to downplay this role. I am just trying to make a point that we have the same struggles but may have different types of challenges. With all my crud and inadequacies, Jesus is in the midst of it all. He is changing me into a woman that is more like Him. I have a heart for people to know this Jesus that I know. So I may not be perfect but I am available. I think that is what God wants, an available heart to invade. As a pastor's wife I will constantly be needing to be in the Word and praying. I desire for people to feel that they can come to me not just for godly advice but because they KNOW I will pray and make them a priority. Life will get busy and crazy times are ahead. But as a Christ follower we will have the same ultimate goals.

So just pray for me in this role. It is significant and I am humbled that God would allow me to be a part of all this at all. I am naive enough to think that things are not the same for everyone and that being a pastor's wife doesn't have to have a negative ring to it. I do believe we have a chance to raise awesome kids despite the reputation that PK kids often have. I believe my marriage can be strong despite various time commitments. I believe we could look back years from now excited about what God has done not weary and burnt out. I believe I can have strong, lifelong friendships and relationships despite the ups and downs of who comes and goes at our church. I believe I will have an unspeakable joy in the midst the trials. I don't say all these things because I am just trying to think positive. I am saying them because this will be the outcome if you pray for me. And I am also a little naive!